he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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