i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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