a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
