i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
