I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
