CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
