come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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