it wasn't lemon gatorade
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
