Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize