Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No subtext here. People are naked.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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