I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
