He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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