I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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