Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
