yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
