I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize