I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
