I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
