I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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