I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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