adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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