My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
