Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
