What did we do last night that was yellow?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
