Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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