I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
