A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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