I want to make a zoo with you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
