By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
