He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
