I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You're like the curious george of whores
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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