Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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