dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
