Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
