So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
