the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
