Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
