That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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