Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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