I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
