I'm so fucking centered right now
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
