I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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