Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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