Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
