He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
