Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my vag is so smooth its legendary
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
