I wish I could teleport
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
