I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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