You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
