well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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