i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
