Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
