shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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