Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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