no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
