So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize