WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
