for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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