the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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