the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
