We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
