party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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