If that was your dad, he is hot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
